Do you feel like people don't listen?

article Feb 04, 2021

Would you like to know how to cut through all the noise to get your message across?

Stop communicating in ways that don't feel right for you and that people are tired of hearing from you.

Making the individual contribution, you're here to make with your life is connected to finding your unique expression and language inside you rather than the outside world.

Self-expression seems like it should be the simplest and most comfortable thing in the world for us to do, but it isn't. At least it has not felt that way for me!

I think that it's because it is simple, but it is also far from easy.

Most people want to be authentic. It doesn't matter if you're in sales, management, leadership, or you're talking to your teenager. You probably want to communicate in ways that feel right for you rather than following cookie-cutter approaches that the world is full of.

The problem is that when the pressure is on and stress is high, it's easy to lose track of that desire and get sucked into what you think will work, rather than discovering what is real for you.

If you're reading this, you probably have the drive to express yourself uniquely and creatively so that it reflects your individuality, authenticity, and, most importantly, your big heart.

In a world filled with manufactured communications of all kinds, it can feel tough to share your message with people in a way that lands. The best practices that work for others end up feeling difficult or heavy and often create the complete opposite of what you're trying to for.

The first thing I want you to know is, there is nothing wrong with you! These are just signals that are trying to tell you something significant.

As a husband to a lovely feminine spirit and a dad to three beautiful daughters, I have learned this the hard way through trial and error with what I call the Feminine Resonance Chamber.

The Feminine Resonance Chamber immediately knows if you are full of BS or not. It doesn't matter what you are trying to say or how "right" you are. If you're out of alignment, even if you aren't conscious of it, you're dead because they know!

This is one of the many reasons I love femininity because it immediately tells me whether I am aligned with what is right for me or not.

This has taught me a lot about communication.

I cannot count the times that I would try to give my wife or daughters unsolicited wise sage advice about something that they would totally reject because it came from an incongruent place inside of me rather than my real truth.

Even if they can't articulate why they reject what I am saying, it doesn't matter because they feel it and believe me, so do I!

When this happens, I have learned that I need to take a step back, regroup, get real within myself, and then come again with the real communication that I have to offer.

When I do that, everything changes drastically.

I believe that this is the way that it works for all human beings. Even though I am in the Feminine Chamber Communication Bootcamp a lot of the time, I know this is true for all people, regardless of gender.

Our human essence is energy. We use words AFTER our energy is already communicating.

Think back to when you needed to communicate in a situation or with a person who felt intimidated, stressed, or anxious. You might notice that it didn't matter what the source of the feelings was. If you felt anxious, intimidated, or stressed in any way, the energy likely got mixed up with your words.

This ends up being the source of confusion and is also where forced, contrived, or pushy communications come from. There's an energetic signature that underlies our words that we can feel all the time. We often reject communications from people even though we can't quite put our fingers on logically why we are doing that. It's a feeling.

We already intuitively know this. That's why communication is such a widely trained skill.

In the essential communications where you share who you are and what you believe, with the hope that it will make a difference in people's lives, I believe you'll find that the best marketing, management, and leadership practices will never work for you.

In fact, trying to fit yourself into someone else's communication mould is a big mistake.

At some point, it is so important that we do the deep discovery dive within ourselves to find our unique energy, perspective, and process for communicating so that it fits for us energetically and lands for the people that we are here to serve.

Until you take the time to listen, interpret, and translate the energy and the resistance inside of you, people will not understand what you're really trying to say to them, and what's worse, they will miss your heart.

If this is happening, then perhaps it's time for you to slow down and do this inner work.

Until you do, it's going to feel like you have sand in your mouth, you're speaking through a megaphone, or you will struggle to find any of the right words at all.

Something that has helped me immensely with this is learning how to create a safe space inside myself and in the meetings that I have with people.

When I learn how to do that in any meeting, I immediately have the alignment and the words that I know I am supposed to share.

What follows after that is pure joy because when I have clarity about what I really want to say and how I need to say it, I say what I mean and mean what I say in ways that land powerfully with people.

It doesn't matter whether I'm writing an article, creating a social media post, writing an email, having a conversation, or creating a video. Those are all just vehicles of communication.

What really matters is that I feel safe enough to hear what my heart, gut, and head are saying so that I can create a precise, compact message that flows out of me naturally.

When I do that, it doesn't matter what the response is because my heart is the part of me that is speaking clearly, the funny things that when I feel safe enough to do this, the right people are always drawn towards me to hear the unique message that I have to share with them.

Trace Hobson lives in British Columbia, Canada, and spends his time teaching people from all walks of life how to create a safe space in their meetings with each other.

Trace facilitates a Free 5-day Safe-Space Gathering where people can learn the step-by-step process for creating a safe space for themselves and the people they want to serve.

If there is an upcoming Safe Space Gathering look on the margin of this page and there will be a registration for dates this month, but if not...

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